The Urge That Faded

I'm at a mall right now, here to buy clothes for a friend.

While I was shopping, I saw a few little girls walk past, small kids carrying more shopping bags than they could hold. It looked like they had bought half the mall.

And I suddenly remembered myself.

As a kid, I always had this urge to buy. Wherever I went, I wanted everything I saw. I didn't want to stop. Just buying, buying, buying.

Cut to a few years later, and that urge is gone. I've lost interest in all of it. I don't even enjoy going out much anymore. I'd rather stay home, in my comfort zone.

These days, I don't even feel like buying clothes for myself. I only shop when my clothes are in their worst possible state, torn, worn out, one wash away from making me look like I'm in rags.

I don't fully know what changed.

Maybe it's because I've already experienced it, and found there's no real point to it. Maybe it was just a childhood phase that every kid goes through.

But I don't think it's that simple, because many of my friends still feel it. They still want more, and more, and more.

So maybe some of us grow out of wanting, and some of us don't. Or maybe we all just start wanting different things.

I'm not sure which one I am yet. But standing in that mall today, I didn't miss the bags one bit.